


Tu quoque

by Basilico



Series: Let's meet again someday [7]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Buggy having feelings, Crying, Cute, Fun, Galdino really didn't have anything better to do, HA! YOU THOUGHT THE ANGSTY WORKS WERE OVER, M/M, Slice of Life, THESE TWO SUPPORT EACH OTHER IT'S SO DANG SWEET, didn't you?, maybe a bit angsty, phone chat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:14:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28637580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Basilico/pseuds/Basilico
Summary: Of course the possibility of having it all to collapse fluttered in the back of the clown's mind. Would he be able to be conscious, pragmatic, if it ever were to happen? His chest was close to implode; it took him so long to even consider having feelings for that redhead, and now... he needed a long breath; but yes, yes perhaps he could be weary and look at the situation from outside if he really wanted to, and that very fact strangely put him at rest.There was a prompt, snappy answer from the clown."Well now I can""What happens when you can't anymore?".In which Galdino should have just kept quiet.
Relationships: Akagami no Shanks | Red-Haired Shanks/Buggy
Series: Let's meet again someday [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1496558
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	Tu quoque

**Author's Note:**

> I live for Buggy's henchmen.
> 
> Also the title is pure drama and I love it because of that  
> EVEN YOU?? (Followed by shock noises).

"Your offer is indeed the best on the market, but I don't like you, clown".

The image of the person talking was being projected on a wall by a Den-Den mushi placed on atop of a counter.  
Buggy was lounging on a shimmering, extremely flashy golden throne; feeling the most powerful man in the world with his fur coat, and his velvet vest, and his flashy captain hat. Plus that day he was particularly proud of the crossed bones makeup on his forehead.  
Behind the throne laid the most dazzling display of treasure that the banal emissary had ever seen in his life. (That of course was simply the Shichibukai's assumption).

As he pulled off a sharp, condescending smirk, and his eyes flickered; Buggy placed his elbow on the armrest, lazily flapping his hand around.

"I see you aren't comprehending the position that you're in".

That conversation had been going on for quite a while now. Listening to the umpteenth try of turning the tables, the man on the other line couldn't suppress a crunched dash of spite in his expression.

The clown had no intention to drop it: after all he was trying to get Hajrudin from the New Giant Warrior Pirates to join his fleet, of course it was a challenge!

"If we don't close the deal, you can either get in touch with my competitors, or get out of the business and see if there's any profit in being fishermen. With Buggy's Delivery you'd be constantly employed and soundly under the Shichibukai's protection system, so I don't understand why refuse".

He gave the other man some time to reflect, as he did himself. Was it a matter of money?  
Buggy switched position, joined his hands and suddenly seemed extremely serious.

"Wanna know a secret about the concurrency?".

Hajrudin became interested all out of the sudden.

Before he could phrase a question of some kind, the clown kept talking.  
"Well, close your eyes then".

"What?".

"Come on now".

The man did so due to the clown's grave tone; feeling mocked nonetheless.

"Ok, look back up".

As soon as he did, Buggy opened his arms and pulled off a grin that went from cheek to cheek.  
"There you have it", he tried not to burst out laughing, ending up chuckling. " _I_ am the concurrency".

Hajrudin became red in the face, and growled.  
"Is this some kind of joke? You really think you can treat us like this and get away with it?".

At that, the clown's face darkened. One could still see his teeth; it seemed as though the corners of his mouth had dropped, along with his eyebrows.  
"Who do you think you're talking to? A joke? You won't find a person in the business that can even hope to get anywhere near me".

Buggy scoffed. He hoped things wouldn't come to that, but he had no choice.  
"Hajrudin, your partnership is very precious to us, and we understand that a raise in your contract wouldn't do any bad, would it?".

He could see that man's eyes flickering back there to the shimmering piles of gold.

"Well then" he sighed, looking conflicted, "come to me with a _fair_ price, and I'll be very happy to collaborate. It's been a pleasure". Having the last words was always fundamental.

And with a snap of fingers, the den-den mushi was turned off in something that looked classy and scenic from the outside; but in reality was simply one of Buggy's followers pushing the right button.

As soon as the video was off, the clown exploded in a sharp laughter. His goons immediately started to rearrange the room: the enormous pile of gold was indeed just a background scenery (who the hell would ever keep money in such a vulnerable spot?), and the throne wasn't much more than a fancy armchair coming from Buggy's studio.

"Boss you've done great!"  
"You're amazing captain!"

"Can't believe I just witnessed such a glorious exchange!" "Look at my hands, they're shaking!"

"Whoa, could that be the boss's invincible haki?" "But why not meet that little shit in person?"

"ARE YOU MAD? Of course the Boss didn't want us to get involved in a fight!"  
"How caring!"  
"How human and responsible!".

Buggy, listening to all those praises, just couldn't stop laughing, wholeheartedly this time.  
"Of course I'm amazing! C'mon what's the name of the strongest man in the world?".

One voice rose altogether:"BUGGY SAMA!".

In the other room, Alvida was on the den-den mushi, trying to close a deal.

"And what's the name of the richest, smartest, more handsome man on the planet?".

Again, everyone shouted out:"BUGGY SAMA!".

The woman clutched the receiver, then politely tried to bring the conversation to an end.

"What's my name folks?".

As the last "BUGGY SAMA" echoed trough the room, a door swung open, and Iron Mace Alvida walked very angrily to the clown's face.

"Why don't you shout that to your fuckin' boyfriend?".

Buggy froze on the spot, but it lasted a second.  
"CARE TO SAY THAT AGAIN?".

The woman gritted her teeth.  
"Why don't you shout that to your FUCKING BOYFRIEND AND KEEP QUIET NOW?".

"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING TO?".  
At that point their faces were surprisingly close; perhaps both of them believed that the closer they yelped, the stronger their point would result.

"WHY OF COURSE TO A LOUD, STUPID, ANNOYING TWAT".

Quite some time had passed since the Yonkou's visit, and now each one of the officers and the captain himself were so well organized they could afford to slack almost all day long.

They didn't know a business such as their delivery would yield that much in such a short time; so they all started giving in to the classy, comfortable life they now could afford without any second thought.

"It does take talent to yell that loud for so long"  
Cabaji pointed out, as he and Galdino were hanging out right outside the building, sitting on a couple of garden chairs.

"And the variety of topics really is something" Mr.3 scoffed, "who would have thought I'd stick around long enough to consider this normal?".

The second mate leaned back on his seat, smiling. That was a question he'd never asked himself: not once in his turbulent life, he'd thought about abandoning Buggy's crew.

"Wanna leave us Mr.3?". Cabaji wasn't much of a trivial person, but to be fair Galdino found him perfect to kill time precisely for that quietness.

"Ha! Are you serious? I'm in all this just as much as any of you". 

"Why waste such an opportunity" the officer mumbled, closing that exchange.

At that time they both believed that situation would have lasted forever, or at least long enough for their whole bunch to become untouchable even without the government's protection. And did they love it! All of those blind followers of Buggy were completely independent now; leaving people like them to the mere task of supervisors, that of course if supervising meant cultivating hobbies and escaping from the chaos of phone calls and sales that went on inside twenty-four/seven. 

Cabaji had just started picturing how to re-arrange his unicycle-trapeze-free style sword juggling play, when the other man spoke up.

"Say, I'm always been curious: were you ever like those folks?".

The second mate cocked his head, waiting for a clarification. 

Mr.3 rose a brow, then pointed up with his index finger and kept silence.

"Buggy-sama!" it was quite easy to pry on conversation around there, "of course you're amazing! Please spare this place from your destructive fury". 

Cabaji smiled, even though no one could tell due to his fuzzy scarf.  
"Surely not like that" he answered in a cold chuckle, "but you see, my respect for the captain has always been of the highest level". 

Mr.3 hummed in response, as he stretched his arms and tilted his head back.  
"So you must have been pretty disappointed, watching him fall off his perch of perfection". 

The second mate instinctively narrowed his eyes, annoyed. His captain was much more than a mouthpiece just good at blabbing.  
"That's not-" 

"Oi master Cabaji". 

Galdino had just the time to straighten up when one of the henchmen called from the distance. The second mate jumped on his feet as fast as a spring. 

"Of course man, no problem you can tell me later" Mr.3 said tauntingly, as he watched the other man walk away without a word. 

Once he'd made the turn towards the shipment area, the second mate found himself face to face with Richie, and if Richie was outside away from second breakfast, that could only mean Mohji was around too. 

"Slacking as always, huh Cabaji?" indeed, the man was riding on the lion's back. The fact that human and beast seemed to share intentions, hunger and body structure always resulted ludicrous to Cabaji. 

"Captain Buggy needs me here". He didn't want to lie, but proving Mohji and his uptight ass wrong felt wonderful. Don't get me wrong, between the two men there wasn't so much spite as inflamate rivalry; although that giant cat... Oh Cabaji could not stand him. 

"Of course he does" as his face darkened, Mohji replied in spite; for he believed the only ones enjoying at best their well deserved comfort were him and Richie. He kept talking:"I had to get out of there, today everyone is really too loud, we couldn't even have our third plates". 

The lion growled, supporting that point with every inch of his will. Both had gotten chubbier during the course of those months; perhaps that was the consequence of finally having some good stuff to eat, along with not having a single task anymore.

Cabaji gave a good look at those two, in silence. Richie was just about to walk away and try to reminisce his wild instincts to manage to catch some fish, when the second mate spoke up. "It's a miracle this pussycat can even stand". 

Watching from the distance, Galdino realized he was bored beyond imagination, which was not necessarily a bad thing. Maybe he could go check on Buggy since all the screaming had ceased. 

* * *

"I'm telling you Redhead" the clown had the receiver at hand. His face was reddish and curled up in anger, "I'm _this_ close to losing my shit".

"Did you just gesture even though I can't see you?". The denden mushi rose a brow, a mimic of Shanks' expression.

Buggy went quiet, his mouth dropped.

"You did, didn't you?".

"That's it, I'm hanging up".

"Wait" -Buggy did- "Haven't you heard the news?".

The clown was leaning on a balcony, enjoying the view of non retribuited people working for him. He rolled his eyes and answered in a soar voice,  
"No, tell me about it".

"Ever heard of that young pirate from the worst generation, Eustass Kidd?".  
Shanks hawed for a while; but the Shichibukai waited, not able to make the connection. Perhaps that news had gone without mentioning there on the island.

In the end, he spoke up.  
"Yes, never met him, but I know the guy".

"Well, he and his crew challenged me".

Buggy groaned at the mere idea of having to track down the Red Hair Pirates without a vivrecard, a den den mushi, or any kind of contact whatsoever.

"To go trough such a pain in the ass just to pick up a fight".  
He turned around, keeping a lazy eye on his employees.

"So, how did it go? Don't tell me you've lost the title and want my protection now".

"Yeah, in your dreams Clown".  
Buggy could perfectly picture Shanks sticking his tongue out in a helpless grin.  
There was a moment of silence; it seemed as though the two men wanted to give each other enough time to smile at that exchange.

"Of course we won, but the captain lost his arm".

Buggy wasn't surely known for his outstanding empathy and sensibility; although he bit back a guffaw, realizing he was most probably the only one finding that fact ironical. He even restrained himself from asking if the Yonkou had had in mind to create a mini Shanks.

But truth be told, the clown almost didn't see that coming; nor he quite understood where that whole conversation was going.  
"Oi, are you rubbing your little victory in my face?".

He heard a scoff.  
"Don't you want to know a bit more about adult, charming Shanks?".

Buggy looked as though a lightbulb had lit up above his head. Was that chitchat? It was! He'd called to complain (no other reason whatsoever); completely forgetting that spitting shit about a particularly annoying co-worker is indeed, chitchat. Now, he'd talked about nonsense with Shanks before, but that wasn't filling a twenty-year gap of polar opposite lifestyles; that was a how-was-your-day/week/last couple of months kind of conversation.

Coming back to the real world, the younger man shook his head and tried to remember the topic.  
"Of course, adult Redhead. Hey let's keep it between us, but I think he's quite a jackass".

As a deep chuckle came from the Yonkou, Buggy kept talking.  
"Really wouldn't want him to get offended".

"Oh fuck you Buggy".

As the younger man opened back his mouth; he turned to the side, just to find Galdino staring: one eyebrow up, arms crossed, a mark of condescension on his expression visible from miles away.

The clown's newfound smile dropped in half an heartbeat.

"What am I looking at?" he whispered in an attempt of mocking Buggy without having the denden mushi to transmit. Of course he would never admit it in direct communication with no one but Red haired Shanks; but Mr.3 was legitimately freaked out by that Yonkou.

"Buggy, are you still there?".

Again, the clown snapped out of his trance.  
"I'll have to call you back Redhead".

He didn't cut it up until Shanks had replied: hanging up after such a closure is never the best idea, the other person could get worried. After barely thinking that, the Shichibukai puked from within his soul, loosing all his self respect in such a way as he hadn't experienced in a very long time.

With that image of spite on his face and a sappy aftertaste in his throat, Buggy groaned at the other man.  
"Don't you have anything better to do?".

"No, not really" Galdino got close, gave a last look at the sleeping snail, and finally realized he had to come up with something to discuss about and also make it look important; he wasn't psychologically ready to have Buggy shout in his face from up close for making him waste time.

"About this Yonkou business" as soon as Mr.3 spoke up, Buggy's eyes flickered.  
However, he did not interrupt.

"What's plan B? What happens when you rip him off, win the war, con him or-

"Excuse me?".

"Listen, last time the Yonkou was around our guys managed to take riches from the Red Force. What happens if he comes for it?".

If he was taken aback in the beginning, now the clown was simply surprised.  
"aren't they scared of him?"

"Oh terrified. Although improving our finances was more important to them".

Buggy was just about to ask, full of pride, what did they manage to snitch. 

"I get it, you're having fun, playing your game; but what about later on?"

Although it took him a couple seconds to understand the topic was back on Shanks; Buggy didn't need to demand a clarification, for that was a question he'd asked himself many times without success.

"That's none of your business".

Perhaps the man was sick and tired of people treating him like an outsider; because a quick burst of rage gave him the strength to start a quarrel with Buggy about such a topic.  
"Oh no, 'cause this is not some random fisherman that can come and go whenever without being noticed".

The clown pouted, then theatrically crossed his arms.  
"Please, he's nothing special".

"Wha- to you maybe! Of course he his, it's a Yonkou we're talking about".

That was nothing Buggy felt keen to discuss; plus he still had the (wrong) idea that Galdino was being defensive because he had no intention of giving back what he'd stolen.

"You know what? stop worrying about being busted. If that Redhead can't guard his own treasure, that's on him". Then a possibility, clicked there in Buggy's head "I'm not going to rat you out, I don't answer to that guy".

Mr.3 didn't look as skeptical as he did on purpose; nonetheless he did. Now there were many things that could drive Buggy crazy, and one of them was without doubt being considered less of what he was. So he got closer with wicked eyes.  
"That must be crystal clear: the fact that his bounty is so fucking high will never, ever put me anywhere below him" he was close to grabbing the other man by the collar. "And that counts for you too, I see how frightened you are. You barely showed up last time".

As they went on debating, with Buggy juggling between downgrading Shanks and elevating himself, and Mr.3 getting more and more invested in that cynical confutation in a way he'd never imagined he could pull off; the Red Haired Pirates fortunate encounter with Eustass kidd came up. Of course the Shichibukai hoped it would prove the absolute trust that redhead had in him, but the result turned out to be Galdino's mouth falling open and locking in an expression of terrified shock. It looked as though his jaw would unhinge at any moment.

The discussion that came out of that fact turned into a never-ending cycle of proofs and counterchecks. Indeed, to Galdino anyone in Shanks' situation would share such a news simply to establish dominance, hand out a big, glowing, red "don't cross me" sign. At that point the clown's possible throwback choices were getting narrow. Stating his blind trust in Shanks' natural laziness ~~or simply in Shanks~~ would not work; but cutting that conversation by playing the I'm-your-boss-just-shut-it card wouldn't do the trick either.

"So you mean to tell me you'll know when it's time to back out?".

At that moment Buggy's whole body stiffened, and he internally let out a sigh of relief due to Galdino's indifference; if he hadn't noticed, perhaps the clown could keep on thinking straight.  
"Look me in the eye, do you think I don't know what I'm doing?" a thin smirk cut his face. If he could close it he wouldn't have to really get to think about the possibility of backing out.  
"I'm having fun, and I don't have fun if I'm not in control".

Galdino seemed to have finally calmed down.  
"I'm just here to bring you back to reason. I know my captain, and I know your environment is something terribly frail. Not you, not your surroundings, just your environment".

The Shichibukai shut his mouth, as he thought about those words. Was it true? Everything had been spinning so fast lately, and yes, one could say people used to stick around Buggy's bunch even if their condition kept changing.

Thanks to that promising silence, Mr.3 believed he was finally winning the argument; finally convincing Buggy to be careful.  
"Let's say we go trough a crisis and have to flee; that you two have a fight about any kind of crap and start a real war; that simply it becomes" he pondered his words very carefully "distressing, not worth the trouble?".

He sighed.  
"How long can you do this?".

Not worth the trouble, HA! It'd never been worth the trouble with Shanks; Buggy knew he was the one in loss, spending his free time thinking about the other man, calling him, having fantasies of all sorts about him. He knew that wasn't the right time to confront such a deal, he was tired from all the negotiations and the arguing, and for God's sake he'd told Shanks he used to love him! He was able to say something that cheesy and made it look hot as heck. How could he even think about giving it up? He felt unpleasantly hollow at the mere thought. Of course the possibility of having it all to collapse fluttered in the back of the clown's mind. Would he be able to be conscious, pragmatic, if it ever were to happen? His chest was close to implode; it took him so long to even consider having feelings for that redhead, and now... he needed a long breath; but yes, yes perhaps he could be weary and look at the situation from outside if he really wanted to, and that very fact strangely put him at rest.

There was a prompt, snappy answer from the clown.  
"Well now I can".

"What happens when you can't anymore?".

* * *

"Oi Buggy, you do have some nerve. Hanging up like that on a Yonkou".  
The den-den moshi resonated in the dark, as a trembling smile formed on the clown's face.

"Buggy, you there?".

for the millionth time that day, Buggy snapped out of his trance.  
"Yeah, yeah I'm here". As he answered, the man scratched his left eye; looked down at his gloved hand just to find his fingers stained with makeup.  
Before he could even squint, he felt a tear running down his cheek.  
_"really Buggy? Are you this emotional?"_ he thought for himself.

"Buggy?".

"Hm? Oh sorry, it's just been a hell of a long day".

No one was around anymore at that time.

"Then tell me all about it".

**Author's Note:**

> Ok there MIGHT be grammar errors in here eheheh.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts, and thank you for your enormous support!!!!


End file.
